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Sometimes it's too late for me to realize..
that you are that precious to me..
It leaves me with regret everytime I remembered the past..
Had I told you how precious you are, could it make any difference?
Could it change the outcome?

And when I look back..
and try to run after you..
I'm gasping for air, running after you..
but you don't even budge looking at me..
you've gone too far away..
that I can't even reach you..

I've tried, at least..
Filled with regret, no more.. Hey there!
Sorry for not updating for sooo..oooo long.
This semester (my 7th) should have been my last semester here, but well, I think I kinda messed up my last semester.
So, let me tell you my story.
On my 6th semester, 2nd block, it was reproduction system block..
In order to pass the block, we had to fulfill the criteria: to pass both theory exam (80%) and skills lab (20%). There were eight skills we had to master. I failed three of them. But then I passed two when I got the chance to fix it on remedial exam. I messed up "IUD installation" exam. The worst thing was I did the same mistake (again). I was supposed to have passed it if only I did not do the same mistake. :( So, there I went. I had my re-remedial exam. But unluckily, I unintentionally and did not pay too much attention and never thought that I would unintentionally pulled the IUD out of the uterus. I just realized it when my examiner told me, "Look where the IUD is."
Oh my goodness. It was unbelievable.
As for the theory exam, I passed it (with * mark which meant my score was below 63.5 and I could retake the exam if I wanted to, to fix my grade). I did retake the exam, though, without thinking I would fail my block. (I supposed there would be a reconsideration, considering I had passed my theory, since the theory exam was reaaaa..aally hard. Even there were only about 20s out of 200 students that passed the exam. But I was wrong).
It was until the announcement on the univ portal website ON MY D-1 THEORY EXAM, NEUROLOGY SYSTEM BLOCK.
It was like a doom. Really. At that time I was thinking, "What's the point to pass this exam if I am about to postpone half a year?".
But, no, I didn't really mess up my neuro block. It's just that I got my first C. :(
Up to the point when I enter my 7th semester, I had no intention to really study too deep, because to me (at least till now), no matter how hard, how deep, or how much you learned, if you didn't pass both your theory and practice exam, there would be no point on learning too much. You'll just end up being disappointed by your high expectation, expecting that if you know better, you will graduate on time. I am no God in judging people, but on my perspective, so many people out there who were just studying to only pass the exam, but their way was as smooth as a cotton.

I've come to the point where I study just to pass the grade. No intention to study too deep, no intention to study to get the knowledge.
I sound pathetic, huh.
But hey, it's more pathetic that you judge a student based on what you do in 10-minute time to the mannequin (which is not real person) and let them fail merely because of that.

My friends are graduating in the end of the semester, whereas, me, postponing my graduation till the end of my next semester.
Sounds too pathetic.

Oh, right, my second written exam is (supposed to be) coming in three days. But today, unexpectedly, we are having an-off-day because of the mass demonstration against Jakarta's governor. Hope it won't get too serious like in the really past. So, the plenary is postponed (should be today, actually). I guess dr. Clement will postpone the exam as well (AHHH I HOPE SO, PLEASEEEE) so I will have an extra day to study (to pass the exam. LOL).

Now, talking about my thesis trial last semester, I did quite well, eventhough I only got a B. Hahahaha. I know, I always have high expectation for me. But, believe me, I could do better than what I did in my thesis trial. Just wasn't too lucky to have dr. **** to be my 1st examiner. LOL.
Even my friends who couldn't answer some questions on the trial got an A. Y'know it's kinda unfair, but well this is life.

So, see ya in my next post, I guess. :) Hello, fellas!
It's been a rea....lly long time since last I updated my blog. I want to tell you about my 3rd year.
     I'm now in the 6th semester. Since the previous semester, I've been doing my thesis as one of the conditions of my graduation later (the end of this year). The thesis trial is scheduled to be in the end of this semester. Hmm. Actually, I am still doing it. I mean, it's in progress and I don't have any intention on delaying my thesis trial. The lessons are getting harder, but I'm trying my best to balance my time to do both study and do my thesis (even though I'm not into any organization actively lately).
    Oh yes, I am holding an event actually. it's musical drama by my faculty choir. I am the vice general coordinator and also as the stage manager. (I once joined the choir and participated in the musical drama 2 years ago) . So my job is to help the committee leader and help other divisions to to their job. I am really hoping that the event would go well, because the event is exactly at week 3 which is usually week of exam or upcoming exam.
     Hmm. Back to my thesis. My thesis is about the association between anxiety and dyspepsia. My thesis adviser is an internist. He is really great at research methodology besides of his competence as an internist. He is also super helpful—he responds fast to every messages I sent, makes time whenever I ask him to consult about my thesis, is easygoing and never makes fuss about typo or reading marks. I think I need to buy him something to remunerate him.
     I'm in doubt. Whether should or not I go home this holiday, or I try to get a job. Even if I get a job, it'd be hard to fulfill the time requirement. Or should I just try first? :) You'll never know if you never try something out, right? And I guess if I'm accepted, it'd be a huge advantage for my CV, since it's a big and well-known company. Hmm. The latest submission is today, but I haven't asked my parents yet. I just found the information about 2 days ago, so it's still kinda making me confused.
     I guess it's enough for today's story. See you really soon! :) Well well, hello everybody~
It's been a long time since my last post, right?
And I guess it's kinda awkward to start writing again...

Alright, let me try to start..
Starting from my recent life..

I'm in my 4th semester, medical science major in Jakarta, right now.
And of course it'll still take another 4 years for me to accomplish my study to be a general practitioner.
Some says that it's hard to learn medical, but for me, it depends on your effort. If you try your best, you'll survive. If you have the willing without effort, you might be graduated, but be careful, you might not be a good doctor.

Unlike my high school life, now I have quite a bunch of friends (there are actually 6 of them, but one has quit, so only 5 left).
They are dependable, understanding and fun, even though sometimes they are also annoying and we have quarrel.
And I enjoy this friendship so much after breaking up from some friendships before.

In the past I wasn't even interested in joining any organisations, but now I'm joining lots of organisations. There are 5 of them.
And you know what, I find it really interesting getting involved in student activities.
I get so many relations, new friends and also bunch of experiences.

I guess it's all for today. Thanks for reading. :) Hidup itu ngga ada yang lurus lurus aja.
Pasti ada aja masalah.
Mau segimana flatnya hidupmu pun, tetap aja pasti ada masalah.
Mau tingkatan masalahnya yang sangat ringan ataupun yang berat, tetap aja namanya masalah.
Nah, kalo udah kena masalah yang tingkat berat nih, apa yang bakal kamu lakukan?
Tetap jalani hidup, dong.
Jangan patah semangat.
Ingat, hidup itu pasti ada aja masalah.
Nggak ada hidup yang nggak ada masalah.
Dan sebenarnya sesuatu itu bisa dianggap masalah karena kita sendiri yang menganggap sesuatu itu sebagai masalah.
Kalau sebuah masalah kita hadapi dan tidak kita anggap sebagai masalah, tapi kita maklumi sebagai bagian dari hidup, nggak akan ada yang namanya frustrasi.
Oke, cukup sekian ceramah hari ini. *eh(?)
See you in the next post :) I just changed my blog's look.
I just realized that my former one looked hmm.. a bit plain or kinda boring.
I am about to finish the part 3 of "I Will Back Off" and I just found out that I started that story a year and a month ago.
And I just edited the first and the second part. Honestly, I forgot what's the main idea of the story. That's why I edited the plot.
So, I don't know when i will get the chance to finish the story. Hopefully I'll have the time very soon. :D        Semua murid sudah diizinkan meninggalkan sekolah. Kimmy memasukkan botol minumnya ke dalam ransel birunya dan bergegas ke stasiun bus. Dia takut ketinggalan, karena nomor bus 073 yang rutenya melewati stasiun dekat rumahnya hanya lewat setengah jam sekali, dan tentu saja Kimmy tidak mau menunggu 30 menit lagi hanya untuk sampai di rumah. Itu akan membuatnya menunggu lama di stasiun dan terlihat seperti orang bodoh yang terus memandangi ponselnya sepanjang waktu. Apalagi dia memang belum terbiasa dengan daerah sekitar sana.
       Nomor bus 073 sudah tiba. Dia melangkah memasuki bus itu dan menge-tap ezlink card-nya. Hanya tersisa $0.5. Dia harus segera mengisi saldonya jika tidak mau repot-repot mengeluarkan recehan $1 tiap kali naik bus.

       ***

       Pagi itu Kimmy sengaja berangkat 15 menit lebih awal agar sempat singgah ke interchange untuk mengisi ulang saldo ez-linknya. Tapi yang terjadi malah antrian di counter sangat ramai, sedangkan mesin yang biasanya bisa digunakan untuk mengisi ulang sendiri tanpa bantuan petugas malah rusak. Pantas saja antrian di counter begitu ramai.
       Kimmy menunggu sekitar 10 menit sambil memandangi jam di ponselnya. Waktu sudah menunjukkan pukul 7.25. Dan 5 menit lagi sekolah akan dimulai. Dia harus bergegas jika tidak mau terlambat ke sekolah. Akhirnya dia memutuskan untuk keluar dari antrian.
       Pintu gerbang sekolah sudah hampir ditutup. Untungnya security yang sedang menjaga di sana kelihatannya sedikit toleran. Lagipula sebelum ini Kimmy belum pernah terlambat. Setelah pintu gerbang dibuka, Kimmy berlari melewati koridor sambil memandangi jam di ponselnya. Sudah pukul 7.37. Baru telat 2 menit. Tapi tentu saja orang-orang Singapore yang super on-time sulit mentoleransi keterlambatan walau hanya 2 menit. Seseorang mencegat langkahnya.
       "Apakah kau benar-benar berniat untuk bersekolah di sini? Baru hari ke-dua saja sudah terlambat begini, apalagi hari-hari selanjutnya?" Gawat, guru yang kemarin. Kimmy hanya menundukkan wajahnya berharap guru yang satu ini tidak mengenalinya.
       Tetapi fakta tidak sesuai dengan harapan. Guru itu angkat bicara, "Oh, tunggu, tunggu. Bukankah kau.. Sepertinya aku pernah melihatmu, tapi di mana ya?"
       Momen yang tepat untuk kabur. "Maaf, Sir, aku sedang buru-buru." Kemudian Kimmy melangkahkan kakinya dengan kecepatan di atas biasanya dan sambil sesekali melihat ke arah belakang. Siapa tahu guru itu mengikutinya?
       Kimmy sudah berada tepat di depan ruang kelasnya. Dan dapat dipastikan Kimmy akan diomeli karena terlambat. Tetapi nyatanya suasana kelas masih sangat riuh dan belum ada guru yang masuk.
       Kimmy mencari bangku kosong, tapi yang dia dapat hanya bangku di depan meja guru. Dengan berat hati akhirnya dia meletakkan tasnya dan duduk di sana. Coba saja Cindy sekelas denganku. Pasti tidak akan seperti ini keadaannya. Sigh.
       Tiba-tiba kelas menjadi hening. Seluruh pandangan menuju seorang pria dengan kacamata bulat lucu berkemeja kotak-kotak dan berdasi pita yang tidak asing lagi...
       "Hey, kau yang duduk di depan meja guru," panggil guru itu. Dia menurunkan kacamatanya kemudian menaikkannya lagi. Kimmy menoleh ke kiri dan kanan berharap ada orang lain yang dipanggil guru itu, tapi Kimmy malah makin menyadari bahwa panggilan itu memang untuknya. "Aku?"
       "Tentu saja, memangnya kau kira siapa lagi? Kau... yang tadi terlambat itu kan?" tanya guru itu. Kimmy merasa sangat malu. Untungnya tidak ada yang menertawakannya.
       "Baiklah. Aku akan memperkenalkan diri. Namaku Mr. Steve Lee. Tapi kalian cukup memanggilku Mr. Lee karena guru yang bermarga Lee di sekolah ini hanya aku. Aku mengajarkan pelajaran matematika," kelas menjadi sangat riuh. Mungkin sedikit terkejut karena wajahnya sama sekali tidak terlihat seperti seorang guru matematika. Malah dia lebih mirip guru kesenian. "Aku kurang hafal dengan semua guru di sini, tapi aku ingat beberapa nama guru dan kebiasaannya di kelas. Karena ini adalah orientasi oleh guru, maka aku akan memberitahu kebiasaan mereka satu per satu dan semoga informasi yang nanti kuberikan bisa bermanfaat untuk kalian" Mr. Lee sambil sedikit menurunkan kacamata bulatnya.
       "Ini Mrs Lim," Mr. Lee menunjuk pada sebuah foto. "Orangnya memang sedikit cerewet, tapi dia sangat baik. Dia suka bunga dengan warna cerah. Kalian tau apa yang harus dilakukan."
       "Berikutnya ada Mr. Ma," Mr. Lee kembali menunjuk pada sebuah foto. "Dia sangat galak, terutama pada murid yang...," Mr. Lee berhenti sejenak. "Yang tidak mengerjakan PR dan membantah perintahnya. Tapi dia ini lulusan S2. Jadi wajar saja jika nanti banyak yang mengeluh kurang mengerti dengan fisika yang diajarkannya," lanjut Mr. Lee.